After the birth of our daughter Penny, I said I wanted at least two more babies. My thinking was that since we had such a hard time conceiving the first time (we were even considering adoption at one point) surely the second time it would be much easier. Unfortunately that wasn’t the case. Last year about this time we decided we would like to try to have another baby. I met with a new doctor who is a fertility specialist, and she devised a plan to help us get pregnant. I went through various medications, shots, hormones, ultrasounds, etc. and no progress. Mr. Money and I decided after me not responding to fertility treatments that maybe we were just meant to have Penny and be satisfied at that. It took me awhile (and sometimes it’s still really hard for me to go through her baby clothes or our cloth diapers) but as of today I am satisfied with my beautiful daughter and am trying to move forward. One of the things that helps me cope is focusing on the positive parts of having only one. Here are some of the pluses to having an only child:
-Time and attention to the one child. By default, when you have another child the attention gets divided amongst children. I don’t think this is necessarily a bad thing because I think it’s important for kids to realize the world doesn’t revolve around them. However, with us just having Penny we can focus our attention on her.
-More resources available to the child. Children can be expensive, and by only having one it can make more resources available to them. For instance, if we do end up with just one child, we may be able to pay for all of Penny’s education whereas if we had two we may not be able to do quite as much.
-Less stress. Having kids can be stressful! Naps, bath time, feeding, whining, entertaining, all of it can drain you. By having one child life can be a little less chaotic and stressful.
-It’s cheaper. Obviously it’s going to cost us less money over the long run to have just one child versus more. (Duh)
-More travel. One of the things I’m looking forward to as Penny gets older is traveling. We went to Colorado last summer, and it was not hard to travel with her at all! I think with two kids it would be more challenging, especially if we had to drive to places. Also, we will hopefully be able to afford more travel because we’ll have more money (see above).
I’m not saying that being an only child is the best thing in the world because I worry a lot about her not having any siblings to share that bond with. I think the experience of having siblings is invaluable and wouldn’t trade mine for anything. Who knows, maybe we will end up with another baby sometime in the future and that would be okay too. But for now, these are the positives I have to focus on to make myself feel okay with everything.