Never Let Friends Borrow Money


Get out of my sun!
Creative Commons License photo credit: Cats in trees

I’m going to share something very personal, and I hope that you will respect the decision I made at the time, and not tell me what a bad decision I made.  I just hope someone can learn from this.

In December, a friend came to me, crying because they were behind on their mortgage due to some uncontrollable circumstances. I was very understanding, went through all the options I could think of with her, and then after she told me that she had done everything she could think of and exhausted her family members, she didn’t know who else to turn to.  And if she didn’t make her two months’ worth of mortgage payments that they would be served a foreclosure notice right before Christmas and she, her husband, and two children would be out of a home.

So I lent her $1500 and made the mortgage payments for her because she’s my best friend, and that’s what best friends do if they are able to.

The agreement was that she would pay me back in January when she got a check from financial aid.  I was fine with that because I’ve known them for 8 years and they are honest people. If I didn’t lend them the money, could I be okay with them being out on the streets?  Probably not.

Well, January came, and she didn’t end up getting the financial aid, so she said they’d pay me back when they got their tax return.  They came down to visit me in February, said they’d bring the check, and then forgot to give it to me while they were down here.  So the last three weeks I’ve spent bugging her about when they sent the check.  I can understand that you forget to mail it for a few days.  But after three weeks, that’s just ridiculous.  And now I need the money and I’ve expressed that to her.  She’s ignoring me.

I’m hurt and angry beyond words.  I never thought that someone that was my best friend would do this to me.  It makes me sick.  It has put so much stress and anxiety on me that I spent the whole night in tears.  I just feel so betrayed.  I just want my money back.

I guess it boils down to never let friends or family borrow money.  I should have thought about that before hand.  My gut told me to do it, but my head told me not to.

There’s a chance that I’m blowing this all out of proportion and I receive the check in the mail tomorrow.  I really hope that is the case, but I’m not holding my breath.  What hurts is that she’d be willing to toss away 8 years of friendship over this. I hope that she does come through and I get my money back and can be happy.

Please, if you learn anything from this, just don’t let people borrow money.  It’s just not a good idea.

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105 thoughts on “Never Let Friends Borrow Money

  1. Ray says:

    same thing happened to me. A ‘friend’ of 5 years told me he was in a tight bind. He was behind on his rent, car note and his cell phone was going to be shut off. He said he needed 350.00 and asked me if he could get it from me. He told me that he didn’t even have money for fuel to get to the new job I got for him. I gave him 400 so he could get through until he got his check. To top it off his job was slowing down and he asked me if I could get him a job where I worked at… and I did! Making 70 plus thousand a year. So me being the friend that I am loaned it to him. Now, we use to talk everyday on the phone, sometimes 3 to 4 hours a day…. because we are truck drivers so that’s how we’d kill time. As soon as I gave him the money he stopped calling. And when I would call him he would be agitated and hurry off the phone by saying ‘I’m on the phone with my wife’. So now I have to see him at work dam near everyday and I want to kick his ass so bad it ain’t funny! I loaned him the money so he wouldn’t fall and he tries to pull me down with him. I am disgusted with myself for ever trying to help him. Now I know to let friends fall when they are in a financial bind. You live and you learn.


    Linda Reply:

    DO NOT! lend friends money. PERIOD!!

    I actually supported a very good friend for almost 3 years till she completed law school. I set up a bank account to help her pay for expenses, even purchased all her law school books!

    Now, she came into some money (over $100,000) PLUS she passed the BAR exam and do you think she paid the 15,000 she owed me? Hell &%^&^^ NO!

    But she made it a point to buy a new 2012 Mercedes, LV purses, Chanel glasses, purses, and Rolex watches! Really!!!!!.

    My only recourse is a law suit!

    Never lend anyone cash!


  2. Lee says:

    I borrowed money from friends but I do always end up paying them back and even in some cases in monthly installments. So I’m sorry you were in that situation when you let you friend borrowed money.


  3. Same Here says:

    I wish i have read this 2 years ago. The sad thing was, i lend them money to a co-worker who said i could be saving a life. The money added up over $10k and i was behind my own bills, that was when i stopped giving him money. He declared bankruptcy so i am simply out of luck now.


  4. Robert says:

    The same. I lent my friend $2000 for his co-nail shop it’s the second time.
    The first time he pay back but after borrow me the second he’ve contacted no more.
    I have a use friend !.


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