I’m Thinking About Quitting my Job

Posted by Mrs Money on January 11th, 2011

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Since November, three of my family members have been in and out of the hospital.  First my dad had hernia surgery and stayed at the hospital for a few days.  Then he developed complications once he was home so he went back for a second surgery to correct a hematoma.  Next, my mom developed diverticulitis and spent a few days in the hospital.  After she went home, she discovered that she had a very dangerous infection called “C. diff” and had to go back to the hospital for about a week.  While this all was going on, my sister had to have surgery for what they found to be a tumor on her ovary (she’ll be fine, thank goodness) and spent the night overnight at the hospital.  So that totals five separate hospital visits for three family members.

My mom called yesterday, saying that my dad’s blood pressure was low and that his brother was taking him to the hospital.  Needless to say, they kept him overnight and today we found out he’s got about four things wrong with him including some infection.  My mom is still healing from her bout in the hospital, so she’s not really able to help take care of things around the house, and she’s not able to go be with my dad.

At this point, I feel really helpless because I live too far away and am working full time so it’s not like I can just up and leave and go help them.  I want to be there to help cook and clean, but right now it just doesn’t seem possible.  I’ve been considering quitting my job to go help take care of them.  While this sounds like a great idea, I just don’t think it’s a wise choice right now.  Then I wonder if I’m just being too crazy because we’ll be losing my income and family should come first, not money.  So I’m torn.

Positives of Quitting

-I’d be able to go up and stay with my parents as long as I needed to with no pressure from my employer.  If I need to stay up there a month, fine.  If I need to stay two months, that works too.

-I’d be able to focus on things I love and work towards making those my full time job.  I’d love to make money blogging, selling soap, and maybe even finishing my e-book and selling it.  I’d be free to do as I pleased, and do things I would love after I got done taking care of my parents.

Negatives of Quitting

-We’d lose my health insurance from work.  We’d have to look into finding private health insurance, which could be very expensive and most likely won’t cover pregnancy.  This would create stress.

-I wouldn’t have a job and consistent income once I was done taking care of my parents.

-It probably would take me awhile to get used to not going to work every day.  I’d probably miss the interaction with people.

So, I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place.  I want to be there to help my parents, but I just don’t know if it makes sense for me to quit my job.

What do you think I should do?  Is it silly I am even considering quitting my job?

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22 Responses to “I’m Thinking About Quitting my Job”


  1. Jenny says:

    That’s a tough one! I wanted to quit my job for similar reasons. I wanted to know that if one of my kids got sick, it was a non-issue that I’d be staying home with her that day. It’s awful having to call and beg off and worry that bosses and coworkers are going to be irritated when you need to be there for family. Also, I wasn’t able to do what I truly enjoyed at work. They didn’t want someone who would be creative and use her brain to help the business, they wanted a drone to run a cash register and fill out papers and follow orders. I minored in creative writing and could have done something helpful in that area, but they said “no, no, it all has to go through marketing.” Since the hospital marketing people never seemed to have time for our department, it didn’t get done at all. That was so frustrating. Although we didn’t have a bunch of money in savings and it made things tight financially, I’m glad I quit. It is different not going to work. Truthfully, it’s harder for me not EVER getting away from the kids than it is not having contact with others. However, we still had health insurance through my husband’s job and for me it was only a jump from part-time work to staying home. It’s a big, huge step to take. I hope you are able to make a decision you’re happy with!

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    Mrs Money Reply:

    Jenny- I know that once I have a baby I want to stay home for those reasons. I don’t want to be stressed out and worrying about things like that. I want to raise my baby. They are only little once. :)

    I think I’ll be able to work something out where I can take time off if I need it. :) Thanks for your input! I am very glad you all were able to work it out like that!

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  2. Karen says:

    I am so sorry to hear about you family’s illnesses. :( I completely understand where you’re coming, and I don’t think considering it is crazy at all.

    I don’t think lost income is the biggest issue in this case. You’re right, family is more important than money, and I think you’re good enough with finances to make it work. However, I would definitely make sure you’ll have access to health insurance with maternity coverage first. Depending on you husband’s income, you may qualify for Medicaid. Or see if COBRA would be prohibitively expensive. Just make sure you’ll be covered and that you won’t have to wait until you’re on another group plan the get pregnant, because who knows when that will be.

    Good luck, and I’m hoping for a speedy recovery for your family!

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    Mrs Money Reply:

    Karen- I think I’ll be able to keep my job and maybe take FMLA if needed. I don’t know about the income qualifications for Medicaid. COBRA was over $800 a month when I checked!

    I am hoping they will get better soon and we can stop worrying about it. :) Thanks so much for your help- it really means a lot.

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  3. Single Ma says:

    Can you use your remaining vacation and sick time, then take an unpaid leave of absence under the Family Leave Act? Talk to your supervisor and HR. There should be a variety of options in place for situations like this. I’m very sorry to hear about your family and I hope everything works out according to God’s will.

    [Reply]

    Mrs Money Reply:

    SingleMa- Thanks so much! I think I’ll be able to work out time off if I need to and take advantage of the FMLA. I am hoping they get better quickly so we all can relax! :)

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  4. Heather says:

    I don’t entirely understand the plan: are you going to quit and go live with them? Or just drive back and forth a lot?

    Do they have help with the cooking and cleaning?

    Do you want to be there so they have help or to be there? If you want to ensure they have help, you can hire help (which would cost less than your salary).

    But most importantly: what does your husband think?

    [Reply]

    Mrs Money Reply:

    Heather- I’d just temporarily stay with them. It’s a 5 hour drive from my house to theirs, so I’d have to stay with them for a little while. They do have help with the cooking and cleaning, so I think it’s going to get better. My hubby is fine with whatever needs to be done. I’m very thankful. :)

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  5. Angela says:

    I agree with Single Ma, if you are eligible to take protected time to assist with their care via the Family Medical Leave Act, I think that would be smarter. It is an option to avoid a hasty decision and will give you time to learn more about the long term situation before you make a final decision.

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    Mrs Money Reply:

    Angela-I agree. I think I’ll be able to do that if need be. I’m hoping they get better very soon! :)

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  6. krantcents says:

    I would consider alternatives like time off with or without pay, vacation or a leave of absence before I would quit!

    [Reply]

    Mrs Money Reply:

    krantcents- I think that’s what I am going to do :)

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  7. Kacie says:

    Can you use FMLA to take unpaid time off without committing to quitting? And what does your husband think? I think it would be really hard for you guys to be apart that long.

    Tough situation :(

    [Reply]

    Mrs Money Reply:

    Kacie- I think I can do FMLA if need be. He’s fine with whatever we need to do. I’m very thankful for that. It is hard to be away from him, but it’s only temporary. :)

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  8. I’m sorry your family is suffering. The other commenters covered any advice that popped into my head. Good luck!

    [Reply]

    Mrs Money Reply:

    BIFS- Thanks :) I appreciate it!

    [Reply]

  9. Jessica07 says:

    I agree that you should look for an alternative before quitting. However, you have to do what you can live with in the end.

    I have private insurance (I’m self-employed), and my insurance plan still covers pregnancy. It also has a little emergency fund that I can draw from if something is not technically covered, as it will pay for ANY “uncovered” expenses up to the amount placed in the fund. It kind of works like a 401(k), because they match contributions to it. So, do a little research on that one, before you let it completely overwhelm your decision.

    [Reply]

    Mrs Money Reply:

    Jessica- I sent you an email :)

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  10. Yes, definitely inquire about taking leave of absence. I was able to do this for a while after my short term disability ran out. Eventually I decided to just leave my job after that point. But it gave me at least 5 months to think about this!

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  11. Hm. Jobs aren’t so easy to come by these days. Trying to take some time off to go comfort them for a while seems a lot less counterproductive than quitting a job in the middle of a depression (oh…sorry…”not a depression,” right).

    If you’re thinking you can get by for awhile without your salary, than evidently you could do without a large portion of it temporarily. Why not try to use vacation and FMLA hours to break loose some time to visit them, and then simply dedicate most of your paycheck to covering the cost of a nurse or skilled caretaker to check in on them every day, run their errands, maybe fix them something to eat.

    It’s probably wise to hang onto the job until the baby is born, if for no other reason than that you’ll need the insurance if any unexpected medical issues arise. And…well…we think a veterinarian is expensive? Wait’ll you see what a pediatrician costs. :-D

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  12. Wow–I hope the best for your parents and the rest of your family.

    I don’t think it is silly at all to contemplate quitting your job. The health insurance is real kicker though–I’ve had temporary insurance while I was in-between jobs and I remember on the form it asked if I was pregnant. I asked why, and they said it was considered a pre-existing condition and would not be covered. How silly is that? No duh it’s a pre-existing condition.

    Anyway, I hope you decide whatever is best for you and then for your loved ones.

    [Reply]

  13. Brent Eamer says:

    Im a little late on this but here is my personal experience. I live about 1500km from my 82 year old mother. April this year she developed health problems and had to be hospitalized. I didnt book anytime off but my remote distance girlfriend lives nearby. She did as much as possible and I contacted doctors, health care professionals and eventually after a year, she is in a nursing home. All without me taking time off. I work for government (provincial) and I didnt want to take time off and burn vacation as well. But I am doing everything via email/fax/local services etc. And since she has advanced dementia, she probably would not recognize me anyway. I feel guilty sometimes, but I have to look after my finances first. I am not a religious person so that ‘you will be punished’ crap never entered into the picture. Stay strong and look after yourself first. As for myself, I have not children and from what I gathered, most kids dont really ‘go to bat’ for their parents anyway, so if I ‘lose it’ and wander, I say, well, lock me up, put a bullet in me. Ive had a good run

    [Reply]



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