I think I hate my new job. I don’t know if it’s necessarily that I don’t like the position, but I’m having a hard time going to work lately. I just don’t want to go and I have copious amounts of anxiety about it. It’s really not fun.

I think part of the problem is that I went from being the office manager of my branch to being on the teller line which almost feels like a demotion. When I was the office manager, I sat at a desk all day and opened accounts, serviced customers, and worked on loans. Now I’m running transactions and providing customer service. Don’t get me wrong; I like it, but I think I feel like it’s a step down. To make matters worse, my coworker is now at the desk and I’m at the teller line and it’s almost degrading.

I’m very thankful that my pay didn’t get cut and that I got to keep my job, but I’m almost wondering if I should have asked to be transferred to another location. I almost think that it may be better. Then again, I do enjoy the location, hours, and clientele that is at my current branch. So I’m stuck. I’m totally not loving what I do right now.

What would you do if you were in my shoes?

One of my dreams is to be able to work for myself from home. I’d love to accomplish this by photography, graphic design, selling my crafts, soap making, and dabbling in whatever other interests me. I want to create things, and being a banker sometimes just doesn’t cut it. I long for something new, something different, where I can put my skills to use.

At the same time though, when I do take on a wedding photography client, proofing the pictures can be such a pain I sit there for hours, analyzing (and over analyzing) the shots. I work for so long editing the pictures that my eyes get blurry and I start to get a headache. Not good at all!

It makes me think- I love photography and taking pictures. When it is a job though, sometimes it is more stressful than it is enjoyable. For instance, this weekend I am shooting a wedding and I’m already nervous about it! Even though I know it will be fine and everything will turn out well, I still worry.

I just need to realize that nothing is perfect and that in the end, what doesn’t kill me will make me stronger. As long as I’m enjoying what I do, that’s all that matters.

What do you think- do you think if you had to do something you love as “work” everyday, would it become a chore?

image from ragnarfreyer