Thanks to Subways never-ending advertising, what used to pass for a HEARTY sandwich suitable for a construction or steel worker’s lunch box — slices of ham and swiss on two pieces of rye or pumpernickel with lettuce and tomato — now seems to be a historical relic from the 1950s, like B&W TV and cars with tail fins. Now according to Subway a sandwich isn’t a sandwich unless it’s on a puffed up white bread bun (with enough whole wheat flour thrown in so they can legally call it wheat bread). And it has to have three kinds of meat, all sliced paper thin. And it can’t just have lettuce and tomato, oh nooooo, it also has to have baby spinach leaves and/or chunks of jalapeno on it, or else you’re really missing out on something.

But that ham & swiss on rye or pumpernickel with lettuce and tomato is just as hearty now as it was then. The Subway subs, those are the weakling sandwiches. And you can make four of those “1950s-style” ham & swiss sandwichs for $5.

So even if the Subway near you offers $5 footlongs, you can do SO much better for yourself with stuff from the supermarket, starting with rye or pumpernickel loaf bread.

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NOT true — I went to Subway yesterday and ordered a footlong Philly Cheesesteak and it was NOT $5.

BTW, the “nutritional” values were as follows:

– 1040 calories
– 36 grams of fat
– 18 grams of saturated fat
– 3140 mg of sodium
– 180 mg of cholesterol
– 106 grams of carbohydrates

…Jared forgot to mention all this…